Distraction

Every time I’m doing my work lately.

you are lurking in the corner of my eyes.

I’m addicted

to the scrolling timeline.

I am ‘browsing the categories of discontent.’

like I’m searching Netflix for my favorite way

to torture myself.

Torture because the work builds up and then I beat up

myself.

I should make a vow to quit today,

I tell myself.

And then I have quit.

And then a few minutes later I have relapsed

hunched over my phone.

I will just play one game.

1 game multiplies into many.

And now many games have destroyed the day.

The phone buzzes and I snatch it from its resting place

to find out who likes me and who doesn’t.

Both are thrilling.

The thrills end quickly and crash me into

real moments I was not ready for.

The work has piled up again.

And then the self-criticisms pile on after.

Two arrows always arrive together.

What will it take to wake up from this?

 

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